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Posted April 17, Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer. Caregiving for ill or elderly parents presents a host of challenges for adult children. There are challenges for only children, as well as those with siblings. Some challenges are further magnified by whether or not the other parent is still alive, has died, has remarried, or is also in their own compromised health situation.
There were many times I wished I had a sibling or siblings with whom to share the anguish and the relentless calls from the hospital and nursing homes, and yet friends who have tense relationships or full on estrangement from siblings continually reminded me that the presence of a sibling or siblings would not necessarily lighten the load or simplify things.
Adult children with siblings may have the benefit, and also sometimes the burden, of sharing some of the responsibilities, including physical, emotional, and financial ones. But depending on the nature of the sibling dynamics, this can be difficult. There are things that adult siblings can do to make things a bit smoother and simpler and that is the focus of this article. Perhaps this can be done with planned visits to give a sibling a breather or by arranging for meals to be sent on occasions.
And the simple act of making yourself available for calls and texts is meaningful and helpful as well. For example, perhaps you see your parent multiple times a week and your sibling flies in and out of the state once or twice a year for visits.
But try to remember the different dilemma under which they operate, which is that most of us who have been involved in long distance caregiving have at one point or another longed to be able to get to visit more readily and easily and are eager to see our parent, however changed or frail. Yet, when we finally get there, we are often stunned and heartbroken by what appears to be rapid decline, feel guilty for the time we missed and the life we were having wherever we live, and suddenly and simultaneously cannot wait to leave.